The Central: A love story, Or Skullkickers: A review

Months and months ago, I attended the launch of Jim Zubkavich’s Skullkickers, Issue 1. Taking place on September 22, I hopped over to the Beguiling for my first time ever before heading to the Central for the launch and some drinks.

To be honest, I felt quite lost in the Beguiling. If you’ve never been, it’s a small comic book shop spanning the height of a two-story building. With narrow paths through packed shelves, I felt bewildered and out of place in a shop where everyone seemed to know each other’s names. As someone who’s just a tad (#understatement) socially awkward and naturally reclusive, I kind of wanted to go home. No doubt the Central would also be chock full of friends and family. Attending the launch would practically be like crashing a party! But I had travelled all the way and had agreed to meet an old co-worker next door, so I headed over (quite reluctantly, I’ll admit).

When all was said and done, I’m glad I went. It was fun seeing a friend and meeting old acquaintances. Even more, it was nice to meet the author and hear him talk about his comic journey and creation.

A month later I drafted up a review and sent it over to C&G Monthly, where it now appears here!

I know this coverage is coming 5 months late, but I wanted to give special tribute to Skullkickers and that evening spent at the Central. My acquaintance with that small bar led to many nights spent drinking apricot beer to the slow jams the venue plays after midnight, and attending other events such as the Plasticine Poetry nights held once a month. And those nights led to memorable moments with new and old friends, the rediscovery of long-forgotten music, and the introduction to poets I love and admire, like Jacob Scheier.

Events like those held at the Central – ones that can bring you out of your comfort zone and into something better, newer, and more exciting – serve as breaths of fresh air in an otherwise routine, predictable sort of life.

Wow! Did I digress! The reason why I originally sat down to write this article was so I could post my Skullkickers link. But then again, I set Skullkickers apart because it recalls a moment for me – a place and time I think of fondly. I strongly advise you guys to check out the local arts and culture scene happening in your town.

And for Toronto readers, is there anything coming up that I should check out? I’m looking for another breath of fresh air!

My Problem with Journalism

In 2010, I profiled Yann Martel for Side Street’s December issue. The interview can be read its entirety in the Side Street Review’s December magazine, and recently a snippet of it was made available online on SideStreetReview.com. The snippet appearing online reads as follows:

I didn’t know very much about Yann Martel before speaking with him. In fact, from what I did know of him, I didn’t really like him. All I knew was that he wrote an award-winning bestseller and, after that, took a hiatus from writing during which he seemed to be keeping himself ever-present in the Canadian literary scene by writing Stephen Harper biweekly book reviews. The Harper project seemed to go on for ages with no response and, frankly, I felt like it was a project that was undertaken to ensure the man and his book remained present in the public eye, just to keep the royalties rolling.
I suppose you could say that if I thought of Martel at all, I thought of him with a negative—at best, indifferent—point of view.

With the distance of time and space between my Martel article and I, reading it again made me realize how harsh it sounds. Of course, it was partly written to sound that way. I know that each article is better if it tells the truth conversationally, accessibly, and with a hook. I strove for all of the above with my Martel article, but did not realize that it sounded so jealous and distrustful.

If you read the article in its entirety, you’ll see that my mind quickly changed after speaking with Martel. Unfortunately, that part isn’t available online.

I loved talking with Martel. My conversation with him inspired me even months afterwards. He rekindled my passion for writing and reminded me why writing is a valuable pursuit, relentless, and painful, and cruel as it sometimes is. And, more than his inspiration, I appreciated his kindness. Unlike other celebrities, he didn’t simply talk on and on about himself or recite tired and remembered lines, but he asked about me and tried to relate his stories to my life. That made a huge difference. It felt more like a conversation – a meeting of minds.

Perhaps Martel didn’t feel that way, and perhaps he doesn’t even remember me anymore, but it meant a lot to me at the time that an author of his stature could talk to me so patiently. And after all that, reading my cold introduction kind of broke my heart. I immediately regretted anything rude that I’d written. Even worse, as the nature of the business calls, my article was edited for length. To balance off my harsh beginning, I included a sugar sweet end. Fluff, I know, but I meant every word of it, and I wanted to include a conciliatory ending – a “sorry for the start” that was supposed to make up for any mean words I’d said. That ending was cut. It made for a tighter, better article, but, man, did I miss it.

I know I’ve gone on and on about Martel, but his profile reinforced my current trouble with journalism. Articles are written under pressure, for an audience. You’re assigned books and games and celebrities and you need to have an opinion (most preferably an attention-grabbing one) on all of it. You push all this out at a fast rate and once your words are in print, you can’t retract what you say. Even if you regret it later, ink is permanent.

Sometimes, when placing my opinion out there about the books, games, and people I meet, I forget the authority of the written word. It’s a failing that I have, and one that I need to overcome. Sometimes I feel like journalism is a match, and it helps me burn bridges. I love it and I hate it, so I’m hot and cold with it, writing voraciously in brief spurts, then keeping my silence and telling myself I won’t write again. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to write for magazines, but sometimes it worries me.

This has been a long rant, but I guess I just wanted to get the reflection out there. That, and I also wanted to say: Mr. Martel (if you’re reading this), thanks a lot for the chat. It meant a lot to me

52 Books 2010

Happy New Year everyone! To celebrate the passing of the year, let’s talk books and reading.

In 2009, I started keeping track of the books I read for the 52 Book challenge – a challenge that encouraged people to read a book a week.

Though I’ve always read regularly, it was fun to track my progress. Within my first year of participating, I learned a lot more about why reading was important to me. Furthermore, taking note of books and pages provided me with an added sense of accomplishment akin to those kindergarten days when teachers would add a sticker to your reading worm with each book read. As a result, I took up the challenge again in 2010. Below is a recap of my progress.

# Title Author Pages
1 Fired Up Jayne Ann Krentz 368
2 How We Die: Reflections of Life’s Final Chapter Sherwin B. Nuland 304
3 Elizabeth Costello J.M. Coetzee 224
4 The Fire-Dwellers Margaret Laurence 320
5 The 4-Hour Workweek, Expanded and Updated Timothy Ferriss 416
6 The Line Olga Grushin 336
7 The Stone Angel Margaret Laurence 316
8 The Surrendered Chang-Rae Lee 480
9 Even the Dogs Jon McGregor 208
10 A Thread of Sky: A Novel Deanna Fei 368
11 The Breakwater House Pascal Quiviger 208
12 Big Swim Cary Fagan 128
13 Home is Beyond the Mountains Celia Barker Lottridge 192
14 The Fate of the Artist Eddie Campbell 96
15 Blankets Craig Thompson 592
16 What Becomes Al Kennedy 232
17 February Lisa Moore 320
18 Scott Pilgrim and the Infinite Sadness Byran Lee O’Malley 192
19 Scott Pilgrim Gets it Together Bryan Lee O’Malley 216
20 BodyWorld Dash Shaw 384
21 Skim Mariko Tamaki 144
22 AEIOU or An Easy Intimacy Jeffrey Brown 224
23 Three Shadows Cyril Pedrosa 272
24 The Household Guide to Dying Debra Adelaide 352
25 The Adventures of Daniel Boom aka Loud Boy #4 Grow Up David Steinberg 96
26 The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin 320
27 Good Night, Commander Ahmad Akbarpour 24
28 Young Samurai: Way of the Dragon Chris Bradford 448
29 The Wide-Awake Princess ED Baker 272
30 What Momma Left Me Renee Watson 240
31 No Language is Neutral Dionne Brand 56
32 Alex Rider: Skeleton Key Graphic Novel Anthony Horowitz 176
33 The Retreat David Bergen 328
34 Beanworld Book 1: Wahoolazuma Larry Marder 272
35 The Adventures of Ook and Gluk, Kung-Fu Cavemen from the Future Dav Pilkey 176
36 Exit Lines Joan Barfoot 336
37 A Place Within: Rediscovering India M.G. Vassanji 464
38 Children of the Day Sandra Birdsell 416
39 The Uninvited Tim Wynne-Jones 368
40 Beatrice and Virgil Yann Martel 224
41 Ghostopolis Doug Tennapel 272
42 Amulet Book 1: The Stonekeeper Kazu Kibuishi 192
43 Amulet Book 2: The Stonekeeper’s Curse Kazu Kibuishi 224
44 Amulet Book 3: The Cloud Searchers Kazu Kibuishi 208
45 The Lizard Cage Karen Connelly 448
46 Batman: Year 100 Paul Pope 232
47 What They Wanted Donna Morrissey 352
48 Superman: Red Son Mark Millar 160
49 The Walking Dead Compendium Volume 1 Robert Kirkman 1,088
50 Angelspeake: How to Talk With Your Angels Barbara Mark, Trudy Griswold 128
51 No Way Back Rick Mofina 480
52 Reading Like a Writer Francine Prose 320
53 Jpod Douglas Coupland 528
54 Gladiator Boy 1: A Hero’s Quest David Grimstone 112
55 Fear the Worst Linwood Barclay 544
56 Ender’s Shadow Orson Scott Card 384
16,780

Hardest Book to Read: The Household Guide to Dying. No offence to the author, but this was the slowest, most uninteresting book I’ve read all year. Trying to finish this book was painful and slow.

Most read author of 2010: Kazu Kibuishi. Thanks to Scholastic, I received the first three books in the Amulet series. I really enjoyed all three, and wrote a review of Amulet Book 1 for C&G Monthly this year.

Most fun book: Ender’s Shadow by Orson Scott Card. I’m definitely not much of a sci-fi fan, but Ender’s Shadow had me hooked. I’m now in the process of reading the rest of the Ender series, and my first book of 2011 was Ender’s Game!

Most beautiful book: Three Shadows by Cyril Pedrosa, which I also reviewed for C&G Monthly.

Perception-altering reads: Reading like a Writer by Francine Prose. I read this book while I was in the midst of a writer’s block dry spell. Francine Prose was the kick in the butt that I needed, infusing me with renewed excitement to write and read.

Most Informational: How We Die by Sherwin B Nuland. I don’t generally enjoy non-fiction, but Nuland’s book was factual while being beautifully written and philosophical enough to keep my attention.

Notable reading: A Thread of Sky by Deanna Fei. I’ve already written two glowing reviews of Fei’s novel, one in the Side Street Review and another on this blog. Check it out!

I’m a tad disappointed that I couldn’t read more books than I read last year, but at least I didn’t read less. Like I realized last year, reading isn’t about the quantity of books that you read anyways, but the quality.

For a more in-depth recap of my year of reading, somewhat similar to my 2009 recap on MiaHerrera.com, check out my blog posts on YorkScene.com and NerdGirlPinups.com.

2011 marks another new year of reading. So far I’ve only read one book – Ender’s Game. I’m pretty hooked on the Ender series. It’s not a bad way to start off another 52 book year! Care to join me for 2011?

Back to School 2011: Humber School for Writers

As I mentioned earlier, I was rejected for the YRAC grant – the application for which I’d sent simultaneously along with my application to the Humber School for Writers. Shortly after receiving rejection to the YRAC grant, I received acceptance into Humber – an acceptance that was exhilarating in its affirmation that perhaps I wasn’t a tone-deaf writer after all, but also off-putting due to the program’s cost.

Initially, I’d only received preliminary word of my acceptance into the program via e-mail, which gave me time to sit on the offer and think. Sure, acceptance was great, but could I reasonably afford the entire cost of the program at this time? Christmas was coming up along with a slew of family birthdays and celebrations.

I began my vigil at the mailbox again, waiting for my hardcopy response from Humber. Within 2 weeks, I received my acceptance, along with a $1000 Writer’s Trust scholarship!

If acceptance into Humber was thrilling, the scholarship was beyond thrilling –  it was heady and intoxicating . On top of that, with the scholarship, the cost of the program didn’t seem so daunting.

So with all that said and done, I’m happy to say that I’m a January 2011 student of Humber College’s School for Writers – mentee of Sandra Birdsell, award-winning author of Children of the Day.

I’ve already ordered my recommended course books and have started in on some early reading. Even reading one of the recommended texts, Reading Like a Writer by Francine Prose, has me itching for more. I absolutely cannot wait to start this January!

PMPin!

As I previously mentioned, starting in January I’m taking courses in Project Management through the University of Toronto’s School for Continuing Education. In no way have I given up on writing, but as I mentioned earlier, rejection for the YRAC grant gave me a moment of clarity that made me realize that it would be pretty foolish of me to quit my day job in pursuit of art. Even if I were an amazing writer, I still need to eat and live. And I do have other interests beyond writing. I really love Excel, for example, and have fun spending hours creating budgeting sheets for this year, the next and, if it weren’t a little too obsessive, the next after that too. I also like calendars, agendas, and lists of all sorts. For Christmas one year, I asked for a filing cabinet from my family members. These are somewhat embarrassing confessions, I know, but I suppose you could say that I just like to keep organized.

Taking that into consideration, I made use of my alumni credit to UT’s School of Continuing Studies and enrolled in Foundations of Project Management. After I’m finished this course, I’d be qualified as a Certified Associate in Project Management (CAPM). The plan is to work towards my Project Management Professional (PMP) certification and hopefully apply it to my current company to take it a step further and become a Certified Law Enforcement Planner (CLEP).

Of course, these plans are all relatively new, freshly sown seeds. I have no doubt that I can achieve my goals, it’ll just take time… time to complete my courses, pass my tests, and find the proper work placement and hours.

With that being said, I’m pretty pumped. Project Management is completely separate from writing, and I think that might be a good thing. Everyone needs some space and distance sometimes, I suppose, plus I’m pretty hyped about going back to school. I’ve been out of it for a little while and have been missing the grading atmosphere. Wish me luck!

Tone-Deaf Writing

What do all of these people have in common?

They all suck. Badly. And surprisingly, they don’t seem to know it.

Over the past year, I’ve gotten increasingly involved with various online and print publications and have really enjoyed it. This type of writing, however, is not what I ultimately wanted to do. I love to write, but I don’t want to spend all my time writing about other people’s books. I want write my own books, too.

Recently I decided to leave shift work to focus more of my time on art. This included applying to Humber’s School for Writers Correspondence Course – a renowned course, but one that cost a tiny fortune.  I knew that if I got accepted into the program, I’d have to pay up, so I began looking into grants and scholarship programs.

One of the grants I applied for belonged to the York Region Arts Council. Silly me thought that my chances of landing a YRAC grant were pretty darn good. I had a pretty good portfolio and I’d agreed to write for the YRAC’s new YorkScene website, too.

Months passed and the deadline to hear back about the grant came and went. I took to checking my mailbox every day. People say that a watched pot never boils. Well, a watched mailbox never fills. On Thanksgiving Day, after hearing nothing in the mail as I was supposed to, I was included in a mass e-mail sent out to all rejected Grant applicants. “Thanks for trying. Sorry you didn’t make it,” was the gist of the thing.

I was devastated, of course, but it wasn’t about the money. It was about the above. It was about American Idol contestants who suck and suck badly. When people watch American Idol, they watch it as much for the success as for the failure. The above video has been viewed over 6 million times! These awful singers are just hilarious to watch. How do they not know how bad they are?

Over the years, after that first bout of curl-up-and-cry rejection from grad school, I’ve harboured a fear of what I term “tone-deaf writing”. What if I’m just not good enough? What if I just can’t see how awful my writing actually is? What if I’m one of those sad, sad people who pursue a dream to death to the point where it is no longer inspiring, but shameful and a tad depressing?

Being rejected for the grant -not even through snail mail like I was advised I’d be, but through a mass BCC – reinforced all my fears about being a tone-deaf writer. I found myself thinking, ‘Gee whiz, good thing I didn’t quit my day job, and thank goodness I signed up for courses in Project Management too.’

Of course my relationship with writing didn’t end there, but it certainly was a low point for me. Feelings of insecurity and uncertainty are normal, but what do you think of these feelings in relation to art? Of course it’s only natural for every artist to experience a certain degree of insecurity. Then again, what if you’re a “tone-deaf” artist? It’s naive to believe that a certain degree of talent isn’t needed to succeed in art. Some people just don’t have an affinity for certain arts. I can’t sing for beans and I know that. What if I can’t write for beans, either, but I just can’t accept it? What if you’re a tone-deaf artist? How would you ever know? And when, in the pursuit of art, should you accept your limitations and stop?

Clutch 2010/2011

Each year, the Kapisanan Centre offers the Clutch program to young Filipina women between the ages of 17-24. Clutch is an annual six-month arts based program for young Filipinas, providing them with mentorship from professional artists within the community and giving them access to professional tools to hone their creativity, define their identity, explore their cultural heritage, and tell their stories on their own terms.

In addition to weekly artistic mentorship in various studios throughout Toronto, Clutch incorporates weekly history and language lessons and encourages program attendees to blog regularly on the Kapisanan website.

As a writer with a special focus on culture and background, the Clutch program was extremely alluring to me. I applied for the program in August of 2010. After frequent follow up phone calls, I was ecstatic to hear that I’d made it into the Clutch roster for 2010-2011.

Time spent with Clutch was certainly eye opening. It gave me a new insight into Filipino culture, history, and current events. The program largely focused on thinking outside of thinking critically of Philippine circumstances and becoming an active agent in Philippine matters. The program stressed social awareness and volunteerism.

Furthermore, being part of the Clutch program made me re-evaluate who I was as a Philippine-Canadian. I’m not going to lie, sometimes I experienced moments in Philippine history class where I’d feel uncomfortably detached from the issues discussed. The matters we talked about felt so far away that I wondered if I was even a legitimate Filipino. The questions the Clutch program rose for me – about what it means to be a Canadian, Filipino or even cultural being – were and still are extremely important.  They are questions that I still have not fully resolved, and that I am sure I will be thinking of long after my involvement with Clutch.

Even better than the program were the people I met through it. Whether an artist, activist or entrepreneur, each person I met was passionate and inspiring in his or her own way. The other Clutch girls were especially inspiring – visual artists Michaela Cruz and Lyndel Aguilar.

With all that being said, it may seem surprising when I now admit that I withdrew from the Clutch program. My decision was a result of many factors, many of which were practical or economical. Though the program itself was free, the time and effort it took to commute down to the centre in Kensington Market at least three times a week during rush hour was extremely difficult. It was guaranteed that the trip would be at least two hours one way most of the time. Furthermore, due to time constraints imposed by prior writing and work commitments, adding another commitment was not wise of me. It is with regret that I withdrew from the program. It certainly offered a lot.

In this little corner of the internet, I’d like to take the opportunity to thank the Kapisanan Centre for the opportunity offered to me. I strongly encourage everyone to keep up to date with Clutch happenings this year. With Michaela and Lyndel on board, this year’s Clutch will certainly lead to great things.

My Tweet Cloud

I know I’m a bit slow to jump on the Tweet Cloud bandwagon, but I’m pretty happy my cloud includes the words “home,” “happy,” and “writing.”

Other than that, I’ve been crazy busy these days with work and writing, but anticipate an update sometime soon along the lines of new projects that I’m involved in (lots of exciting ones, I promise!) and plans underway.

Oh, also I have a growing suspicion that my website is ugly, so I’m hoping to put up a new layout soon.

Keep posted!

Book Review: A Thread of Sky

Check out my review of Deanna Fei’s A Thread of Sky on the SideStreet Review website. This review may also be found in the newest (June 2010) issue of the magazine.

Though my review of A Thread of Sky is already quite enthusiastic as it is, I’d just like to take this blog post space to state exactly how much I liked this book in a more colloquial way:

Out of the 33 books that I’ve read to date this year, Fei’s novel is one of my favorite novels of them all. It is beautifully written and, to me, it was deeply touching. I am not exactly sure how to describe the chord that it resonated within me. Perhaps I found her novel so relevant because it was able to do what I have been trying to do with my own writing: tell a tale from the position of a distinctly female, Asian American writer.

When someone states the above – “female, Asian American” – a series of stereotypes arise. In my opinion, the female Asian American occupies a certain space in accordance to gender and race. Despite how progressive our society is, the label of “female” writing still often conjures up ideas of books that are distinctly feminist or emotional or descriptive in a certain gendered way.  Furthermore, the “American” perspective is often overpowered by the word “Asian” that precedes it – a word that connotes exoticism and alternative culture.

As a result of the above, even I myself am hesitant to refer books as “female, Asian American literature” because the description comes with so much baggage. Because of the terms’ connotations, assumptions about books that fall into this category can easily be made and, as a result, such books may be easily overlooked or dismissed.

Because we live in such a hybridized society, however, I don’t believe that its fair to lump books into one “female” or “Asian” or even “Asian American” experience. My own experience of being “female Asian American” and of knowing others of “my type” lends itself to stories of variety and difference rather than the generic stereotypes that attend the label.

A Thread of Sky struck a chord with me so strongly because it was capable of portraying the story of multiple Asian American women that could not be described as strictly “female” or “Asian” or “American”. I fell in love with the way Fei reflectively portrayed the hybrid life of Asian American women – lives that were lived in the in-between that results from being oneself and yet also being a “model stereotype” for others.

Anyways, I’m not too sure if any of the above made sense, but I suppose all I can say is: Read Deanna Fei’s novel. It is awesome.

And read my review too. It is not as awesome, I think, because it fails to say much of what I truly felt the novel did, but I wrote it, so read it, too! : )


Career Change

Tomorrow morning will mark the beginning of a new stage in my life. After much thought, I have finally decided to make the big jump and leave my position as Creative Writer at Ganz, Inc. Now, I will be working as…

The beginning of my work as a Marine Biologist

… a marine biologist specializing in the adjustment of stingrays to artificially constructed habitats! I know it’s a big change, but I was feeling for something a bit different.

Okay, well all kidding aside, and taking into consideration the fact that I am deathly afraid of the ocean and most creatures living in it, I really will be starting a new job tomorrow, just not in the aforementioned field.

After much consideration, I found it would be best for me at this time to work in an environment with a more changeable schedule. As a result, tomorrow I will be starting work with the York Regional Police. I’ll be doing something completely different from video game writing, but it will hopefully be something that will allow me more time to focus on my writing and personal life on my off days.

With that being said, I have just returned from an amazing vacation to Miami and the Bahamas, and am more ready than ever to write. I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since my time in Tatamagouche, Nova Scotia! At the moment, I’ve been hammering out work for the print and online publications I am writing for, but there was a glorious three hours during my flight from MIA to YYZ that led to the beginning of a new short story.

I suppose that’s all for now, folks. If you want to catch me in print, check out the new SideStreet Review and C&G Monthly. Au revoir!