My First Reading Ever

Glowing with relief with my parents after my reading at Diaspora Dialogues’ “Toronto the Bad” event was done.

On Friday, April 20 I participated in my first reading ever. There’s a million things I could say about the event, from my anxiety in the face of public speaking, to my worry about what my parents would think, to the seeming serendipity of reading at an event I had been an awed witness of only a few years earlier. I could even touch on the way my voice shook from terror during my introduction, the way I zoned into the story halfway through, my failure to properly adjust the mic and therefore my need to talk into it through the side of my mouth, or that one annoying piece of hair that kept falling into my eyes. Perhaps I could even recap the fear I had when the reading was done, during which I realized I was in front of about 100 people reading my personal thoughts, and I just ran off stage.

But three weeks later, it still feels fresh enough to frighten, awe, and amaze me. Three weeks later, I’m still too shy to watch the video my Dad discreetly taped of me (against my wishes!), too high from the idea that I actually got paid for fiction, and too grateful to fully grasp the fact that one of the readers on stage was me and this week I’ll be published in this year’s TOK anthology.

Perhaps, when it all boils down to it, all I’d really like to say is, Thank you. To Diaspora Dialogues for the opportunity, to Olive Senior for the mentorship, to my fellow emerging writers for coming out and showing support at the event, and to my lovely boyfriend and family for witnessing me freak out, advising me to breathe, and allowing me to break their hands while I squeezed it out of fear and nervousness.

If you’re interested in finding me much more calm and composed at another awesome event, feel free to visit the Gladstone Hotel Ballroom at 7:30pm this Wednesday night (May 9). TOK: Writing the New Toronto, Book 7 will be launched – the book in which my short story, “Next Time,” is published. Accompanying the launch are readings by my fellow emerging writers, James Papotsis, Zalika Reid-Benta, and Yaya Yao, and a panel discussion between Moez Surani and Olive Senior.