Two E-mails Received Feb. 23, 2009

My First Rejection

Hello Mia,

Thank you for submitting your essay to IDIOM: English Undergraduate Academic Journal. Unfortunately we are unable to include your essay inthis year’s edition of our journal. The number and caliber of contributions greatly surpassed our expectations. However, projectslike ours depend entirely on the willingness of students to participate in a lateral literary critical discourse: we thank you for supporting IDIOM with your submission and highly encourage you to submit again next year! We also hope you will pick up a free copy ofthe new volume of our journal in April: please write back if you would like to receive an update when it becomes available.

Sincerely,

IDIOM Editiorial Board


My First Acceptance
Dear Mia,
We are happy to inform you that your short story “Mahal Kita” has been accepted for publication in our upcoming issue of the *Hart House Review*.C ongratulations! However, we have condensed your work to help intensify the complex and heartfelt story you are conveying, as well as to make the division between the past and the present clearer to readers. We have attached your work to this email and the changes are indicated by TrackC hanges. Please let us know if these changes are acceptable to you; if so, please confirm by the end of the next week since we are working on the production stages of the *Review*.
Once again, congratulations! We will be sending out information about the launch in the coming months.
Regards,
The *Hart House Review* Editorial Board
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Just for the record, the first letter was from an academic journal, to which I sent an old essay about the duplicity between duty and derogation in Richardson’s Pamela. The second is from a literary journal, to which I sent a short story I wrote about the Philippines.
Another note for the record is the fact that I applied for Grad School – to Queens, Western, and UofT for their Masters in English programs. I felt like it was a good back up plan at the time – my second greatest passion to writing being reading. The irksome thing about it all, though, is that, not only did I spend $500+ on applications, but I also feel, increasingly, like school isn’t where I belong. Despite the fact that I’ve fast-tracked university and am not doing horribly bad in school, I still feel sub-par in my program – as though I’m just not smart enough and I’m somehow magicking my way through classes. I fear this same feeling will follow me through Grad School, and I have nightmares about finding myself in a PhD program and having to admit to everyone that my mind just doesn’t work analytically in that way.
In a way, these letters have solidified the dichotomy between school and writing in my mind. One, I was born to do, and another, I learned to do.
Despite the fact that my mid-terms and finals are quickly approaching, I can’t seem to make myself focus on getting those Grad School grades. I spend more time researching writing techniques, reading for fun, and hammering out scenes for my screenplay.
But perhaps, everything happens for a reason. At least I will know that I’ve kept all doors open and tried my best.
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